When women Heal the World changes.
I’ve only been sharing a more in-depth part of my story for the last two years. At this time I’ve been divorced a little over 3 years after 14 years of marriage.
What started out as an absolutely amazing relationship that was fun, exciting, and a great outlook on the future from where I was at the time in my own personal awareness, didn’t end as well.
My relationship in the marriage ended up being verbally and emotionally disruptive. The question is often, “Why women stayed so long?” I can’t speak for everyone, but when we have children, have expectations we want to fulfill based on our relationship with God, have invested so much time, energy, and money, and have an innate desire to nurture and fix things we often stay in unproductive situations way too long. Not just marriages.
For me, being able to identify that what was transpiring was actually abusive was key.
Now to interject, as I share parts of my story it is not always comfortable. There are feelings that those reading will feel I’m shedding light on the other person. Or rehashing things. But that is never ever the goal as we understand that people change and people grow, however it doesn’t change our experience, our story, and how it impacted our life.
As I am in new levels of awareness and honesty with myself and helping 100’s of women as a Life and Business Coach, I am also able to recognize the numerous women who have gone through very similar situations. I feel compelled to share ways to provide Fresh Starts and create bigger futures for other women. This awareness started in my previous line of work when I owned a brick-and-mortar business that catered to women. It just seems to be at the surface level now, not so hidden, and more people sharing their experience.
I remember at the onset of what was transpiring in my marriage just chalking it off as my partner simply being a man. (The head, manly) This was flawed with the limited information I knew personally about real love, relationships, respect and society’s flawed examples.
I remember asking about the way he spoke to me and his response was I’m just passionate when I’m speaking. Over time you realize, even if what they said they believed and saw no harm, something on the inside of you is changing. You lose your drive, you lose direction, your dreams are cloudy, you’re in a state of confusion and uncertainty quite often, although you are still showing up in the world and doing all the things. It’s just that everything seems much harder. Even the simplest things, like cleaning the house and running errands.
Many women don’t identify emotional and verbal abuse, neglect, and financial abuse because it’s not physical. But it does impact you physically, from a cellular level. They chalk it off as they had an argument or disagreement and life goes on. It’s just that it’s ongoing!
What’s not normal becomes a normalcy.
As I began to dive deeper and study what was transpiring in my life and relationship I found that emotional and verbal abuse has no specific gender, social status, race, title, or economic status.
This is happening to women all around the world. Those who run the boardroom, those in higher up positions, those who run major companies, those who are stay-at-home moms, those who own small businesses, those who are huge figures and pillars in the community.
Emotional, verbal, financial abuse and neglect know no name or face.
I think even more so for the ambitious woman who’s a go-getter, acknowledging it or being aware that what they’re experiencing is really off, brings shame, or they fear it may interrupt their life if they face it, especially if they are type A personality. It simply seems too much to deal with, with all the other hats they wear. After all, what would everyone think?
Even if they aren’t dealing with it intentionally, they are dealing with it. Their body is absorbing it, their subconscious mind is absorbing it, and little by little things are changing on a downward spiral in their life.
I know this because that was me.
I also know that something amazing happens when women heal.
I want to pause for a moment and make the distinction that emotional and verbal abuse does not only happen through an intimate partner or a spouse, it can be a mother or father figure, family member, a boss, coworker, classmate, etc. The fact is we must become aware and recognize it. We owe it to ourselves to find new direction in those times and in those spaces.
Mainly because we deserve it, but also because when women heal the world changes.
They find purpose,
Direction,
fulfillment
and themselves.
That’s been my story.
As I have spent many years, even prior to divorce, where things begin to move in a much more sound direction, when I was simply honest with myself, when I realized that I deserve better, the healing process began.
Despite whether emotional and verbal abuse was intended for me, or it was really about the person who was causing it( their own demons) I knew my daughter and I deserved a different environment to be in daily.
A space where we could be free to think about our dreams, to laugh, have joy, and heal.
We left our home of 14 years moved to a completely new city, school, etc.
Two years into my divorce I started a garden. You’re probably wondering, “What does a garden have to do with a message on healing?”
When I started the garden I would have said, “Absolutely nothing at all”
This would be the third garden I had planted. The other two I started about 7 years prior when I wanted to have an activity to do with my daughter, who was probably 6 or 7 at the time, and get some outdoor time for us both.
That time of having a garden was completely different.
What happened to and for me in my third garden in 2020, as our world was in complete chaos and confusion, I was more centered than I’ve ever been. On the onset of social distancing and the requirement for not being out unless it was essential, I decided to plant the things we often went to the grocery store for. Most of the produce I couldn’t buy in bulk without it going bad.
We were already big on vegetables and fruits so I decided to start gardening again. It was the best decision I’ve ever made.
There was something happening. There was something transpiring when I would go and put my hands in the dirt. When I would see earthworms in the dirt, as I was learning more about our ecosystem. Like, I actually started remembering stuff from the 3rd grade and it made sense. LOL.
2020 Garden Tour
I aligned what I was learning with the process everything/everyone goes through, even composting. How things go back to the ground and actually provide nutrients.
When I really studied the seed and how the growth process is, Which was right up my ally hunni, I AM THE GROWTH STRATEGIST, there was just so much alignment.
For the last 4 years, I had been teaching a growth tool I’d created, where I talk about the three different stages of growth in business.
The Seed Stage, Growth Stage, and the Stage of Expansion.
I actually watched the almost identical process I taught in business transforming before my eyes in the garden. But my hands were able to be in physical contact. There was a feeling from the sun, I’d never experienced. The feeling of being out in nature was absolutely amazing. I was drawn to my garden. I probably went out in the garden 4 to 5 times per day if not more.
Now I didn’t know what was transpiring but it felt like love girl!
Out of curiosity of what I was experiencing, I began to study more. I begin to learn that studies showed there were healthy properties of actually being in nature, being in contact with the earth itself.
After all, we actually came from the dirt. After all, we are actually a seed. The alignment and the importance of our environment, the same as the seed I grew, is super important. Even weeds in the garden. For us that could be toxic relationships, unproductive activities, distractions, sucking up our energy. Just like those in the garden. Decluttering is a must!
All those things are so relevant to how we grow a business and life as well.
I often share with anyone I can put a seed in the ground and watch it grow.
It’s something about getting in alignment with watching something grow. Where you’re all in.
Where your reason for doing it is clear.
When you establish why you’re doing it and it aligns with what you value… something happens at a cellular level.
I thought I had already gone through the healing process over the 2 years after my divorce, but gardening actually took it to another level.
Again I say when Women heal:
- They find purpose
- Direction
- fulfillment
- Health
- Wellness’
- Wellbeing
- and they find themselves.
So much transpired for me during my garden time. I’m centered. I get super downloads from God, my vision expands.
What is something you can do that allows self care, self reflection, and joy? Are there times you can be intentional about spending time in nature?
I now have things coming down the pipeline in the next few years that incorporate my time in the garden, my vision for my retreats have transformed, my feminine energy is at an all-time high, and I serve my clients and family differently, more deeply!
You know why?
Because When Women Heal (The Divine way of healing)
- They give from their overflow
- Their children are blessed,
- Their spouse is blessed,
- Their relationships are blessed,
- She makes better choices
- She takes care of herself.
- She grabs hold of a bigger Vision and creates a Future Bigger than her past!
Be sure to stay connected to me as I share my journey outloud over this next decade.’ What you will see is what happens when a woman heals. and continues to evolve. What you will receive is the overflow we get to give when we are healed , filled, and whole.
I’d love for you to be apart of it in some way!
Whether you connect with me to help you create an extremely profitable business that funds your lifestyle, not runs your lifestyle through 3D Success Academy- For Women In Business.
Whether you work with me privately 1 to 1,
Join the Exceptional Leaders Mastermind (Open enrollment begins again in May),
Sign up for a webinar,
Through my writing projects like this blog, My VIP email list, The “Police Your Thoughts” Affirmation Guide, or The free limiting beliefs guide,
or
collaborate with me, moderate with me on Clubhouse, or you connect with me on social,
I’d love for you to be a part.
I’d love to support you in some way in your Growth and evolution!
When women heal the world heals!
Oh. Put a seed in the ground and watch it grow!
Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist or psychologist. I am a Certified Life and Business coach providing information for educational purposes to create a place of possibility… to set intentions to Create a Future Bigger Than Your Past.
Success On Purpose
Tanya
Master Life and Business Coach
The Growth Strategist
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