• I’m not saying life is fair in the totality of it all.
  • I’m not saying people have a right to take advantage of you.
  • I’m not saying there aren’t situations where you are let down, neglected and even used or abused by those you thought would be the ones to support you the most because of the title or role they had in your life.
  • I’m not saying your start in life was the most advantageous.


what I am saying is if you see yourself powerless in those situations nothing will really change.

I know all too well how it feels to be in a situation and get lost about your personal power, value, and worth.

Prior to divorce, while in my marriage of 14 years, I definitely lost myself. I mean, I was still doing things publicly that looked like success, but I was fighting bigger battles at home.

I started having this fear-based thinking as if I would really have it hard if I left or if the marriage ended. I was the same person running a successful business for a decade, running a successful team of 12 staff members whose salary I paid through my business, smh. I forgot somehow.

Plus the fact I’d gone into marriage with the vision that this would be what I was a part of for the rest of my life.

Although things were dysfunctional, I continued trying far beyond a healthy space of connection.

Some of it was because I was operating with a victim mentality.

For many reasons.

  • There was my salvation and my warped understanding
  •  wanting my daughter to grow up in a 2 parent home
  • wondering how her life would be impacted if we were no longer a family (baby what we had as time progressed was far from the definition of a healthy family… that’s for another share though)
  • and so many more reasons

There was disrespect and neglect in our home, but what made it worst was this unspoken untruth I had begun thinking.

Somewhere hidden in my heart was the thought I had no more power or authority on how my life would go not being in the marriage.

And then, a light bulb turned on.

I realized if I focused on what others were doing connected to our marriage (invited and uninvited guest. You feel me?) I saw myself as a ,victim.

When I decided that was no longer the story I would tell myself or others,

When I decided what I would no longer allow

 things began to changed for me.

I could see differently, my confidence improved, my courage rose up again.

I began thinking about how prosperous I was before marriage, acknowledging my own accomplishments and capabilities. I was not a victim anymore.

When I look at our country today, I see a lot of the VICTIM mentality operating in the atmosphere.

  • We are waiting on someone else to give us permission to feel important, seen, heard, and valuable.
  • We are waiting for someone else to give us greater opportunities.
  • We are waiting on affirmation from people who may never affirm us.

It’s not until we no longer see ourselves as victims that we truly rise and BECOME the person needed to fulfill our goals and dreams.’

It’s not until we RENEW our minds back to one of abundance and possibility. It’s original intent.

It’s not until we become aware that we don’t have to be a victim of our circumstances.

 We don’t gain the awareness of the full authority we have until we do all of that.

At that point we operate differently and take dominion.

Where have you been allowing the victim mentality to creep in, wreak havoc, dictate your life, cause you to start and stop, distract you from purpose?

Where have you been saying:

  • I don’t have enough time?
  • I do not have enough money
  • I don’t have enough energy
  • The economy is shaky
  • I don’t know how to grow my business.

Guess what

  • You can make time
  • You can eat better and exercise
  • You can learn how to earn more
  • You can seek out help to learn how (Sometimes you gotta spend money to get answers chile”)

Take back your Power!

Identify the areas where you can take back your power.

You can’t be a victim and Victor at the same time

NO more Victim Mentality

This blog post is part of the NOvember series I’ve been sharing on social media. You can look at other topics share here

Inorder to say YES to Destiny you have to say NO to something else!

Success On Purpose


The Growth Strategist
Business Coach/Mentor
Ready to Say Yes and Make Destiny Decision?
Schedule complimentary time on my calendar to see how I can support you.
Click here bit.ly/yourclarity


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